TUESDAY, JUNE 25th, 4:25 AM

the birds have started chirping quietly
and i still haven’t slept a wink
those horrible, horrible words begin to echo in my head

“there’s no rest for the wicked.”

the shadows begin to dance in the corners of my mind as soon as the lights go out
not the corners of my room, but the corners of my mind
my room is safe, solid, sacred
even as its walls seem to stretch impossibly far away
my room is safe, solid, sacred
if only because it has to be
my room is safe, solid, sacred
because that’s the only way i can guarantee tomorrow

“there’s no rest for the wicked, the wretched.”

the whispers begin to creep from the back of my mind as soon as the lights go out
every sleepless night is an out-of-body experience
every sleepless night lasts an eternity and one hour
every sleepless night brings me one step closer to death
EVERY NIGHT is a sleepless night
eyes closed
floodgates open
type these symptoms into webMD at four in the morning
prescription: new you, new body, no self

“there’s no rest for the wicked, the wretched,
the god-defying girls like you.”

the figures begin to leer just beneath my mind as soon as the lights go out
in six hours and thirty-five minutes, i’ll tell the doctor i’m alright
there is no other option

there is no other option.

there is no other option.